Unlearning Perfectionism

Being perfect! Did you grow up hearing, “why can’t you get it right?” “Why can’t you be perfect like _______ fill in the blank?” I grew up with a brother and three sisters. I do love coming from a large family, however, there are some situations that happened where comparing was mentioned in a moment of anger or frustration by our parents or other adults. Those moments though left an impact in my life.

I will be responsible and add that I have to turn the mirror back on myself as I will admit that I have probably said the same thing to people in my life.

Being perfect seems to be how human beings strive through life. I was raised in a time where the media, TV, magazines, billboards, and radio all portrayed images or situations of the perfect life. I say that, this is my perception. See I made this up in my thoughts. Then I looked for evidence to prove it. Our brains are so amazing. The brain is designed to protect and predict life to help keep us safe and out of danger. However, when it comes to perceptions being perfect, it shows up for me as wanting to be safe and looking good to others. It limits me to not be true to who I am or what I want.

Here’s where this showed up for me way back in second grade. I was in a new school, new town, new state as my family had just moved in the summer. Now I was in a classroom with new kids and a new teacher. Two weeks into the school year I got moved out of that classroom into another new one. No one told me why, just that I had to move. Mrs Carter was my new teacher. She was an older woman with a big nose and gray hair. She looked at me through her wire rimmed glasses, like she really didn’t want one more student in her class. She wasn’t very friendly and I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to be in her classroom. I was scared of what was going to happen. There was an open desk and I was told to sit there. The moment I sat down she announced a math quiz. I was in the unknown with no instructions. Since I was new, I did what I thought what everyone else was doing. Well, I did it ALL wrong. The little boy next to me shouted it out to everyone in the classroom too! At 63, why would that still be fresh in my thoughts? I wanted to be perfect and show everyone! I wanted to fit in and be smart.

I’ve been working on unlearning what I told myself back in second grade. The emotions and experience were ones that impacted my life, but it is possible to unlearn and move on. I’ve found being in a community with a strong belief in God and tools to practice awareness of my thoughts have assisted in the process. Just removing some of the barriers I had around being perfect has provided freedom in my life. Said another way, my mindset is shifting to see opportunities I didn’t see before. I can look at myself and say, “Hello Beautiful!” Without any judgements or assessments, just beauty.

That’s what’s available for you, too! I invite you to get your copy of the How to Overcome Overwhelm Coaching Series- Just CLICK the LINK: https://www.gailkabrich.com/

Have a BEAUTIFUL Day

-Gail