When You Don't Know Where to Turn
You've probably gone through at least one challenging season in your life and perhaps found yourself feeling like you don't know where to turn orunsure about what to do next. Personally, I’ve found myself in seasons like this. It takes something to powerfully walk through it. In today’s blog I’ll share threeways you can empower yourself as you navigate a season where you feel like you don't know where to turn.
1. Create a Context
Consider in your challenging season you can create a powerful context for yourself. What is context? A context is a framework. It's a perspective you create for what you're going through. A context is the way that you frame what you're going through. For most of us, when we are in seasons of not knowing where to turn, what do we do? We suffer through it. I will speak for myself:for many years when I didn’t know where to turn my context wasfeeling overwhelmed, frustrated and confused. You can create a context for any situation. For me when I am in a situation of not knowing where to turn the context I create of myself is: All is Well AND I trust God will see me through. I position myself in a place of faith.
2. Look at What’s Missing
Looking at what’s missing is a huge access to power as you navigate a tough season. Considerlooking at what's missing. Youmay ask, “What the heck do you mean by saying What's Missing??”Consider that when we go through seasons of not knowing a powerful practice is to turn put our attention on what's missing. Another way to say what's missing is to identify your gaps.
Our gaps are the distance between where we are now like I'm here and I want to be here. Take a look at the image above. That’s a gap. You notice how there's space in the middle?When you start to look at your gaps and take action to close them, they are an access for you to get to where you want to be.
A Practical Example
Let’s look at a practical example. Let's say you you're committed your relationship. And, you are in a challenging season in that relationship and you are not sure where to turn. You may feel like you don't know what to do. It just doesn't seem like anything's working. And that's where your attention has been. You've been confused, frustrated and uncertain.It could be your context has been: confusion, frustration and uncertainty. You could create a context of being curious and bring a beginners mind to the relationship.Let’s say you take a look for yourself and ask yourself: “What aremy gaps? What's missing in my relationship?” And what you see one gap is you don't communicate. Maybe another gap is you feel like you aren’t able to be open and honest in the relationship. These are things you can address - they are gaps you can close.
3. Beware of “Know-It-All- itis”
Heads Up! A pitfall when you are walking through a challenging season is what I call: “Know-It-All-itis. This is where you feel and think you know everything. When you are looking at your situation from what you know you can't see anything new. Consider what will make the difference in a situation when you're not sure where to turn is to look at your gaps from the perspective of seeing something new.
I used the term bringing a beginner's mind. It's being willing to look at your situation newly. It takes practice to see a situation with a beginner’s mind and it’s totally doable.
Years ago I was a know it all. I was so full of what I knew I couldn't receive anything. It took me years to be open to hear something new. I can attest it takes practice and it's a powerful practice.
When you find your thinking I already know - IN THE MOMENT stop and notice “Right now, I relating to this situation from I already know, I already know how it's gonna go.”Then, give what you think you know and ask yourself: “What are my gaps?”
4. Identify Your Champions
The third point and the final practice for when you are navigating a challenging season is to identify your champions. Consider, you can't see yourself by yourself. When it comes to personal growth, and especially when we are in seasons of not knowing where to turn,trying to figure it out all by ourselves is actually an obstacle.
I invite you to be willing to have people who are your champions, people who believe in you people who will be honest with you, and in love speak truthfully to you.People who will call you out on your BS when you're feeling sorry for yourself, people who will relate to you bigger than you relate to yourself.
If you are in a season where you're not too sure where to turn I invite you to look at what can you apply from this conversation.